Ah, to be Human. Part II.

It’s midnight. I’m up OCD’ing away on my blog poorly attended blog…and it occurred to me like a wave of nausea, my current intro is not only an example of bad writing, it doesn’t reflect where this blog has brought me, or me it, or whatever.

So here it is, part deux.

Shakti Sunfire here. Dancer, writer, crafter, explorer, ninja-in-training.

Like many of us humans I have a diverse (and boring) list of past experiences that have contributed to the person I believe myself to be today.  And there are more limiting titles, besides what’s above, I could peg onto our favorite question…’what do you do?‘ But I won’t. Because I’m over it.

I started this blog because I wanted to externalize the challenges I was encountering as an obsessive multi-tasker, a hat-wearer if you will – a young hat-wearer, in transition, figuring it all out. But you know? One year later I smell progress. Or maybe it’s the fog rolling in.

I am LOVE. So are you.

I am following my bliss, doing what sings to my heart and it’s working.

This is just one of the obvious-to-people-at-different-times-in-their-lives topics I write about. Enjoy!

Me in India

Evolution

I started this blog after returning from Burning Man last Fall, perhaps – one can only speculate – as a direct reflection of the theme from 2008: The American Dream.  On the Playa this year, as it happens, it felt as though time as we experience it on the day-to-day did not exist.  In a blink, a heartbeat, a hoop’s revolution, there I was, covered in dust…back again – a whole year, buh bye.  In the world of non-tangible experience, the realm of no-time, an entire vast Universe had shed it’s skin and made room for my, our Evolution.

photo by Curious Josh

I feel new today. I feel…different. I feel as though I always do when reflecting upon a past point in time: that I have progressed somehow. That where I am now is inextricably better than where I was.  But one should ask…is that really the case?  Or is this worlds only constant – change – simply sucking up to our overworked egos? Are my tic marks of epic events and happenings, my catalog of cool, my gained or lost material possessions, my growing network of friends and colleagues, my new physical abilities…are these things that are SO of this carnal plane a tally of egoistic flattery? Or an unfolding to depth? Perhaps both?

Evolution. That’s a word that gets thrown around frequently in our community.  I ask myself 2 things: How do we measure it? Why should we care?

So, what’s new…I moved. To San Francisco. Can you believe it because I can’t! I’m sitting in my new apartment in Cole Valley. A yellow Victorian row house, 3rd floor, next to the park. I’m sitting across the hallway from my new room mate, a kindhearted, like minded fellow Sagittarian and yoga teacher. Already I can see her being a role model in my life. I moved, unknown to me at lease signing, across the street from the SF Circus Center and a stones throw from community fire spinning gatherings in the park. I moved 2 blocks from Yoga Tree, 4 to the Haight, and 1 to the N-Judah Muni line.  I AM HOME.

I moved because I felt called to, that’s it. I moved because ‘movement’ was what my heart demanded. So there.

I brought everything I could fit in (and on poor thing!) my Volkswagen, nothing more. As I drove alone across Western landscapes I asked of Spirit one thing: make it obvious.   I didn’t need the move to be the *right decision for the time. I didn’t need it work necessarily (I mean Oregon is right down the road…Spain across the pond, it’s not like there weren’t options). I just needed for it to be obvious. Did I make the right ‘move’ for me? Needless to say within the first 3 day weekend here in California I had more encouraging signs than I asked for…and so far no end in sight.

I mention this here because to me this move represented a step forward on my evolutionary path, and when the transition went as smooth as it did, I took it as nothing short of validation. As my surroundings changed, so did I. My meditation and yoga practice are back in full swing, second chakra has been activated and fueled again through clothing design and crafting, the quality of my relationships with others has improved – in breadth and depth…I have the desire and energy to reach out again from a solid place within myself. The people that have come into my life bring new philosophies/information that I have an insatiable thirst for…a thirst that gets satisfied in the most beautiful ways over and over and over, only to make delightful room for more. I am steeped in information gluttony. I can breathe here – full, deep, unfettered breaths. I can be big and step willingly to challenge. My aerial training has delivered an ‘act.’ A world of inspiration awaits 2 doors down. The hoop and I have rekindled an intimate, private relationship that leaves us both breathless and Spirit-filled. The fire under my ass has moved and slowed to heart space. I have tasted surrender. I have felt uncertainty and met it. I have asked SPECIFICALLY of Spirit…this is what I need, and have seen it manifest.

These are my hints of Evolution…this is what I feel I’ve “accomplished”. And of course, the lists of accomplishments are not the true measurement for evolution, which is what makes it slippery – the metrics exist only on a subjective, energetic level.  How do we measure evolution?  Our own and that of the community at large? Could it be in our ability to LOVE more fully? To express more purely and laugh loudly? To sit in the space between breaths, that ever present door to source…in the stillness of the UNIVERSAL? Could our evolution lie in a recognition and acceptance of the Shadow self, the need for introspection and descension as a necessary counterpart to Light and ascension? Wholeness?

I have a new practice that’s blowing my mind. Since the day I left Colorado I have been ritually detailing out lists of what I believe I need to be able to express myself and realize my dreams, while simultaneously writing out traits and qualities in my person that I would like to aspire to or adhere to. I can’t tell you how quickly some of those dreams have become reality on this plane.

Wordbook defines evolution as ‘a process in which something passes by degrees to a different stage (especially a more advanced or mature stage).‘ The word evolution itself comes from the Latin evolutio, which means an un rolling, unfolding from or out of. When we sit in retrospect over the past year, years, decades, what we see are lists of accomplishments, change, newness, progression. Finite moments in the time continuum that mean something to us. Unfolding from or out of those moments, we evolve not because we participated in the act itself, but because the residue of that experience touched our hearts and souls – molding us on that subjective, energetic level – passing us, if you will, to a different stage – a more advanced stage. Is that not what rites of passage are for nature based societies?This is the timeless dance of Spirit and Ego.

How do we measure evolution? In the quality of every breath we take. Why should we care? Well, perhaps because we are one. Because our own evolution is in fact nothing but the evolution of the whole. Because we can’t, in fact, progress alone…to do so would not be progression in alignment with the needs of the Universe, and therefore empty and unfulfilling. Why do I think we should care? Because caring is bliss.

I look back on all that’s transpired in the past year and am overwhelmed with gratitude. Happy New Year!

Rothbury 2009

was incredible.  What brought me there again this year was the same pull that drew 44,000 people to Northern Michigan – the opportunity to be a part of a festival that at first glance seems similar to countless others, but wreathing below the surface is a community of artists whose vision goes well beyond ‘been there done that.’  The whole place, from the fields of general camping to the Sherwood Forest reeks of that ‘new car’ smell.

With all the festivals I attend I rarely have time anymore for expectation.  Unlike last year, where Kaivalya and Cosmic Fire were co-booked for roaming entertainment, Brie and I embarked on a new endeavor, a product of last year’s growth, called Vesica Sister.

Vesica Sister at the SpeakEZ

The goal?  To push beyond familiar territory.  To wipe the word ‘ambiant’ from our contract.  To step it up like we never have before.  Vesica’s debut added an electric undercurrent to the tingling expanse of uncharted water.  In that way we as individual participants matched and contributed to the artistic infrastructure that is Rothbury.  At least we flatter ourselves enough to think so.

And that’s just the thing that made my Rothbury experience so profound.  The realization that it wasn’t strangers who thought this up and made it run, not even acquaintances, it was family.  On SO many occasions I looked around – backstage, side stage and in the audience and everyone I saw – be it the artists that built Re-Incarnation, decorated the Forest, ran the stage, played in the bands, taught the workshops, spread the word about renewable energy, sorted the trash, collected the donations, and orchestrated the event itself – were friends!  Rothbury was a product of collective synergy made tangible.  I couldn’t help but feel like an integral part of that framework.

Brie and I worked hard.  Our choreographed piece we performed on the SpeakEZ stage twice – once on Thursday and again on Sunday night.  The Thursday crowd was special – the best kind, loud, appreciative, attentive and fresh – filled with familiar faces.  The dance, as it does, flowed out of us in a way that never could have happened in practice.  Again, new ground was covered.  The choreography for the piece pulled on so much that was learned in the last year – our forays into modern dance, non-prop dancing!, sacred geometry, Hoop Convergence 2009, and weaving story and ceremony with our brothers and sisters in Lunar Fire.  We’re proud of it, but know how green the first go is…there is always a higher bar.

Friday was one for the record books.  Brie and I, with help from the lovely Ysabel and other Kaivalya members entertained over 100 hoopers at our workshop of all ability levels.  The opportunity to share trick and technique always leaves a residual giddiness in the aftermath.  Meeting cyber-friends is another highlight (great to meet you Abby!).

That night, the re-emergence of the String Cheese Incident from hibernation had all of us in a tizzy. First set bloomed old-school dance-a-thon dust clouds, euphoric laughter and even tears of the happiest kind.  Second set, the opportunity to dance with them once again, in front of 35,000+ people was, as always, surreal.   This time there were no nerves, 2 years had passed since Red Rocks and stepping up onto the box I had only one thought: to throw down!  Desert Dawn…full circle.  Then again for Texas.  I can’t even begin to put this show down in words so I’ll leave it to the soundboard recordings and numerous video that have surfaced.  I’m full of gratitude…and that doesn’t begin to explain how I feel.

There were many such moments of bliss – dancing with EOTO and Big Gigantic, hanging with friends new and old, fireworks and Grateful Dead time warps, golf cart rides and Broken Spoke photo booths, showers (yes showers!), sweet tea vodka, Burning Man meets hippieland, mate mornings, moonrise sunsets and paper lanterns.  I say THANK YOU to all those who made this event what it is: Tia. Brad. Love you. AEG, Madison House, Jeremy, MK, Nature, Bill and team, all the musicians and artists, circus freaks and photographers… Those who carried this vision on their backs, who effectively made a massive festival feel like Hornings on steroids.  You’re wonderful.

Let’s do again in 2010!

Hoop Convergence 2009

“I am often telling my artist friends that through my lectures I may reach a few thousand or a maximum of a hundred thousand people.  But artists, through music, painting or sculpture, whether it is a constructive message or a destructive message, can reach millions.  Therefore, artists can produce peace, love, compassion and harmony, which everybody wants, you see.  Everybody is praying eagerly about that.”

-H.H. the Dalai Lama

One year ago last month I coincidentally jotted down this quote as a preface to the notes I took during the Hoop Convergence 2008.  The first real gathering of that magnitude inside our diverse community. I, like many of you only had to show up without much planning or thought, and because I did I left accepted and held by our larger circular and sacred family.

I would say that was where the seeds were planted, and the intention set, but like so many lessons the hoop teaches I have ‘felt’ enough to turn away from  linear time trickery – to at least conceptually breach the maya of our shared holographic universe… The overwhelming sensation is this:

We’ve all been here before!

Simply points along the circle, feeding into each other – slick diamond scales on the snake-like Ouroboros of Eternity.

Even still, the Earth has played it’s spiraling dance once-over around the Sun and here I am dissolving into depth.  In fact that is what we are all doing.  If time does not progress linearly outside of our carnal confusion, if all the pieces already exist inside of us, deepening, is what’s left.  Deepening of relationships, of information, of message, of art, of understanding and experience.

The Hoop Convergence 2009 was deep man.

Ha! I find it gleefully serendipitous to run into that quote again one year later as some kind of E.T. feedback metric for the reach of this movement art, the very tangible growth of this community.  And somehow seeing the ‘progression’ through the years is in fact testament to the blissful, and still untainted core of hoop dance.  Call it what you will – we had many different interpretations of it in each workshop – but this flow, this Kundalini awakening has us each in a vice grip with no right angles to be found.

“But artists…can reach millions.”

And this is just the beginning. Revolva, Queen of Wit, mused on the shuttle back to Carborro of Hoop Convergence 2050.  We’ll be in the old ladies dorm, grandmothers of an art form whose future is no longer our own…possibly knitting boot covers for the Indigo children of hoop dance…“back in my day…” Can you imagine?

But enough astral digressions.

Rainbow Michael and I spent the 3 days leading up to our departure frantically fulfilling firehoop orders, making double minis for our workshop and ironing out the redefinition of our interpersonal relationship…so it wasn’t until we were Raleigh-bound on one hours sleep that I had a chance to check in.  Sifting through the memories of 2008 in between waves of pure exhaustion I took internal inventory of what felt different.  The obvious: momentum.  SO much more momentum in the hoop community…and with momentum came an astounding wealth of new information – new initiates into the community.  But this year also had the sweet anticipation of reunion – that age-old nesting of tribal integration, of group-think…the web has been weaving around us.  2008 taught me enough to know that what I will take away from this year’s gathering will be unfathomably more than I could ever speculate or imagine.  Surrendering to this I did my best to relax – airplanes have always uneased me…but as Michael says; the Angels can fly anything… and that day, they did.

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We landed in humid, sunny Raleigh on Wednesday, May 6th.  The ball began its proverbial roll.  Our first interaction?  Malcolm.  Hilarious, talented, quirky, kind and communicative Malcolm (don’t worry, more on him later).  Scooped up curbside by one of the many fairy helpers of the Carrboro tribe, the lovely Rhonda, we made quick time to the Heart of Hooping Haven. The Basecamp of Boo-ya, Hoopdrum Headquarters.  Jewel’s, Scott, and Miss Rosie greeted us outside.  Later to arrive was intelligent, chattery Kara Maia and Troy along with our muscle’s hero for the weekend – his hands.

The rest of the afternoon was prep-time played out, re-acquainting with each other verbally, and then later as guests in Jewel’s class, inside the hoop.  We ate a sleepy dinner at Carrburritos and came back to find the buff, babe-alicious, the infamous, the diva; (drum roll please)… Spiral. Had. Arrived.

Haha, ok, sorry, just made myself laugh there. But really, I love her, and consider her one of my best friends – she’s certainly earned her pedestal.  A little bubbly, beer and mosquito-biting porch time ushered me into bed before the rest.  I made like a rock, and slept without dream.

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I awoke to the Sun, and to the voices of Kara and late-night arriver, Revolva on the front porch.  Revolva is a writer too. in fact, we share a lot in common…a discovery that to me is extremely flattering.  It was nice to be able to chat through my morning maté high with someone on so parallel a path.  Another business-minded moonlighter with a circular fetish.  Makes for an interesting dichotomy at the very least.  We all spent the morning getting things together, walking to Weaver street for breakfast and supplies.  The shuttle to Chestnut Ridge Retreat Center came for us mid-afternoon.

Chestnut Ridge is located on who-knows-how-many acres of pristine, lush Carolina forest complete with a large canoe-friendly pond and accompanying snapping turtles, about 30 minutes from Carrboro.  Michael remarked on the ancient quality and history of the land.  It was nice to return to a place of ceremony.

Many of us teachers shared the Falcon Lodge cabin, which spoke again to the progression of the event, considering last year the Falcon Lodge accommodated everyone!  The day did indeed smell of summer camp.  I eagerly awaited my ‘bunk’ assignment.  Number 4, with Ali Cat, Caroleena, Spiral, Revolva, and Kara.  Score!  Others started to trickle in…Rich, Stephan, Bas, Brecken, Michelle, Nayeli, and more.  The general participants weren’t scheduled to arrive until the next day, leaving Thursday for the intimate ‘geek sessions’ between teachers and organizers. We certainly wasted no time.

Spiral and I were eager to share information outside the hoop while we still had the chance. As many of you know, Spiral has been training at the New England Center for Circus Arts in Vermont, and I at the Boulder Circus Center on aerial fabric. Fabric, as it turns out, is much like crack (disclaimer: I’ve never actually done crack), and I was in need of my daily fix. Lucky for me Spiral carted all 30 feet of tissu in her checked bag to the Convergence.  We promptly found the perfect tree and rigged it effortlessly – well…she rigged, I watched her muscles bulge.

That day really did set the tone for the following few.  Everywhere I looked I was overwhelmed with inspiration.  I lifted my jaw off the floor more than once.  My internal dialogue was wrought with disbelief that I even have a space amongst such raw talent.  How is it that we are this blessed? What is it about plastic circles, balls on chains and sticks that empower us to be this embodied, this blissful?

Rhetorical question, of course.

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Day 3.  Enter Nayeli.  One of my favorite Goddesses.  Sweet, intelligent, tuned-in, not to mention breathtakingly beautiful, she led us early-birds through a morning Prana Flow and Acro yoga session in the sun. I practiced next to Jocelyn who was to lead our opening and closing meditations – so palpably pure-of-heart I had to stabilize myself more than once not to be knocked over by her Care-Bear Power. Not a bad spot to be in.  As a group, the shared morning ritual further laced the invisible threads of our cohesion and trust with one another and an effervescence of gratitude set in for the simple things.  The sun, the trees, the friends and the honoring of universal union – the oneness that yoga often brings.

The first sight of participants was an abrupt reminder that Hoop Con 09 was only just beginning.  Opening circle began after lunch with the aforementioned Jocelyn grounding meditation and a silly name game reminiscent of the prior year.  The lovely Jewels welcomed the group with natural ease, and was only slightly eclipsed by the camera man who chose to be the center of our circle (and who would make similar and equally flow-breaking decisions throughout the event, bless him).  I stood pseudo-still succumbing to my fidgety excitement and peered out across the circle at all the faces.  The energy of the collective was decidedly different than last year.  Not better or worse, just very different.  3 times more people, 3 times more men and 1 year of tight cyber-sharing birthed a residue of overlap.  Whereas last year I felt fresh and new, this year I wondered what I had to offer that was different than others around me…the ego knocks, such is human life on this planet.

Very appropriately Spiral kicked off the workshop circuit.  Full of embodied grace that is second nature to one so polished, she set the stage for deepening awareness inside the hoop.  Using the Labon (sp?) theory taught to her by a grandmother of aerial performance, Spiral worked with us to pay attention to both the micro and the macro movements, changes in speed, directions and sustained spinning to imbue performances with flawless intention. I stood at the front of the class like an A-student, hoping for some osmosis-like rub-off.  Heck, any chance I can get.

Opposite her and next in line was the Boston Hoop Troop, Marria and Alicia who had us work in groups of 8 to explore linking patterns and fun movement games like roller coaster chains, flower of life patterns (my favorite) and partner collapsing cubes.  Rainbow and I definitely geeked a bit on the cubes.

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Day 4 began with Caroleena’s hand work class where we broke out of ‘T-Rex’ hands to borrow from popular dance forms like Flamenco, Modern, Jazz and Indian mudra (of course, my favorite).  I pulled a lot of useful information out of this class and appreciated the guide to gaze, center line awareness and visualization.

Next I wandered over to Rich’s class (Isopop)…one I had been looking forward to since it was announced.  Rich’s style is technical and masculine.  Perhaps the most striking aspect of his flow is that he consciously uses all the space around him through maximum extension only to reign it in with ease and ‘pop’ into an isolation (the smallest circle your hoop can make).  These abrupt changes in direction, speed and space along with a refreshing use of anti-spin vs. regular spin patterns make Rich one of my favorite hoopers today.  Adding to his laundry list of desirable hoop qualities, Rich led his workshop with skill and was able to effectively communicate somewhat difficult and definitely new information without hitch.

Brecken. Wow. Brecken.  Hands down Brecken takes the cake for repeatedly blowing my mind.  Going back through notes of the weekend she appears on virtually every page.  My aerial trainer/dance teacher once said; ‘there are no transitions in dance,’ and Brecken’s workshop and dance style both were testament to that statement.  Breaking out of traditional horizontal vs. vertical plane structure, Brecken led us through a series of visualizations where the hoop was allowed to move ’sphere-like’ through space like a coin wobbles on the rim.  Once the sphere passes through, say a vertical space, we worked to seize that opportunity to pass seamlessly into that movement plane and back.  Rather than 2-D flowers and spirals I imagined my hoop carving 3 dimensional spheres in the etheric field.  I am looking forward to more of the wealth of information and inspiration Brecken has to offer.

The hilarious Miss Rosie of Hero Hoops kicked off the afternoon series with her playful dance workshop, ‘Fancy Footwork.’  Miss Rosie is one of those teachers who immolates polished professionalism, as she directs the class with the ease of a veteran instructor.  We worked through 8-count dance-step movements like grapevines, pivots, and forward/backward steps with the hoop on our waist.  I appreciated this workshop for the giggles it produced, the variety of movement (not-to-mention a yummy taste in music), and the joy of challenge.  I told Rosie after class that she should really consider offering similar classes on a weekly basis in SF…lots of potential for raving-fans.

Next up, Revolva’s ‘Below the Belt.’  An entire workshop dedicated to the tootsies.  It’s wonderful to have the space to focus on small bits of the whole and I appreciated Revolva’s enthusiasm to share an aspect of her dance that she has such command on. We began with a foot-Chakra grounding meditation that truly helped to stabilize for the following difficult foot combinations, like knee hooping, kick outs, and other such below the belt debauchery.  Second half of the class we played with foot hooping on our backs.  Always a HUGE treat to see, Revolva graced us with a demo of the 2008 trademark, the Tootsie Roll, leaving us with something to aspire to.  Revolva, if you don’t already know, just absolutely rocks.

Last for the day, but certainly not least, fun and funky Michelle kicked my ass in the afternoon heat with her challenging double-angled on-body tricks.  Michelle is one who consistently surprises me with her creative style and obscure techy tricks. Adorable and very lovable, she also made me giggle more than once when she’d say nonchalantly; ‘it’s like this,’ or ‘just do this,‘ and proceed to flawlessly demo a outrageously complex sequence.  No problemo, right?  Gotta love those classes/teachers who never fail to humble you.  I have a big box around the words ‘MORE ANGLE PRACTICE’ on the page I used to take notes for her class.

Saturday night was the Fire Light Special in the pavilion.  Ali Cat carved sacred space with her prayer song to the Goddess, invoking our ancestors and teachers around a huge bonfire.  After individual prayers and the setting of intention under the full moon, Anah a.k.a. the infamous Hoopalicious was asked in the spirit of lineage to christen the performance circle with the first fire dance.  The music, a delicate and haunting beat with an Eastern flare, began slowly at first.  Anah’s incredible movements matched undulations and drum beats with practiced precision that rendered me, and many others, hypnotically speechless.  Thus began a long night of both veterans and virgins igniting the sacred flame and harnessing the transformative power of FIRE.  I went out close to the beginning with double fire hoops…warming up in a somewhat lackluster performance, then played later on with the double fire minis, Cosmic Fire’s newest toy, and finishing with a super fun game of partner pizza tosses with Rich.  Whoa, more of that please.  Other memorable moments were Rich’s double mini performance, Rainbow Michael’s poi, SaFire’s doubles and Jody’s virgin burn.

A little on that: Jody ordered a fire hoop from us days before the event.  Michael and I traveled with it to give to her.  Upon lighting Jody’s face drained of color, fear and near tangible concern set in and she watched with glowing eyes the flames reach their zenith.  Holding the hoop still she muttered ‘is it burning right?‘ and a few times looked as though she’d rather pass it off or faint than begin to dance with it.  I sat opposite her and was a part of the encouraging virgin burn committee who said, ‘hoop with it!’ ‘hoop with it!’ The moment that hoop began to circle her waist with the rush of the fire-like wind, Jody’s face transformed into pure bliss, her subtle body transformed so VISIBLY in the fire.  The obvious metamorphosis brought many of us to tears.  I have never been witness to such a breathtaking and special moment.  It was a gift to remember.  Thank you Jody.

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The Hoop Convergence 2009 was characterized by a few pervading emotions.  One of them, unfortunately for me, was exhaustion.  The night after the fire jam a few of us…me, Spiral, Rich, Malcolm, Michael, and Revolva, Stephan and others, fed off the residue of whirling hoops and dissolved into late-night giggles and stimulating conversation.  It was always difficult to pry away from the group long enough to throw in the towel for the night.  3 or 4am bedtimes became the norm…not that I’m complaining.  The tightness of our bond so obviously goes deeper than the hoop.  In retrospect I can only sigh with complete and total satisfaction and appreciation for such potent connections with you all. Yay!  Blessings to you (and I’m talking about more than who is listed above – you know who you are), hoop brothers and sisters, you rock my world!

Day 5 dawned bright and clear.  Another day of perfect Spring weather.  Jewels channeled the infinite in her workshop that laid a roadmap of the Chakra system.  Jewels deserves some serious cyber loving here.  I have never met anyone so genuine, humble, open and honest as sweet Jewels.  Speaking from the heart she easily taps into a Sufi-like mystical ancestry with gentle, un-presumptuous grace.  Her dance, a whirling prayer.  Her demo at the end was more than noteworthy.  Moving with fluid, watery, whirling grace, a dance that can not be described as anything less than Bhakti – divine devotion, she moved us onlookers to tears.  Jewels spoke about the power of healing others through movement and dance.  She does just that.

Alley-Oop spent the first half of her workshop recapping some of what we learned from her last year – multiple hoops on the core, how to split them with hips and shoulders and how to maintain them.  She’s a pro, and left much room for improvement on my part, but I did receive new downloads and was stoked for the break-down.  In the second half of her class, I took 3 pages of notes.  Alley has been studying with a Native American Hoop Dancer in Canada who was willing to divulge his sacred coupling of dance and story, ancient information.  Alley taught it well, and had us squealing, ooing and ahing at every combo.  I’m excited to see where and how this will be incorporated into each individual’s flow.  Again the inundation of new information in the hoop community leaves so much space for inspiration.  Thank you Alley for sharing!

Anah’s workshop was on partner or tandem hooping – one I would have LOVED to make, but RM and I had not yet planned out our workshop for the following morning (slackers!) and needed to slip out.  I did hear about it the rest of the day, however.  Many people saying that was their first successful attempt at tandem hooping.  It’s no surprise to me that Anah delivered!

Stephan’s bubbly, fun and informal workshop entitled; ‘Campy Tricks and Cheeky Tosses’ held true to it’s name.  Laughter was the background noise for this class as we experimented with huge tosses, unconventional kicks and circus wobbles.  Stephan constantly reminds me to not take things so seriously, to add in character and theatrics into a performance and that a smile is sometimes worth much more than a trick.

Malcolm gave us License to Flail in what turned out to be one of the most valuable exercises I have experienced so far  Demonstrating his wiggly, dancey, flaily free form gave us new permission to move, to open to what may initially feel stupid and ungraceful.  Through that twitchy, uninhibited space new sequences came through that I began to decode and incorporate. Malcolm is a joy to be around.  Very well spoken, a gifted conversationalist, he moves refreshingly against the grain.  At the end of his workshop we formed a circle and stepped out one at a time to demo our new discoveries.  Whattya know, there were MANY of them!

Closing out day 5, sweet late-arriver Annie, Queen of Annieland, led us in some indoor craft time, where we learned how to re-purpose tee shirts into sexy, fitting, Annie-style costumery. Yes please!

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The Hooper’s Ball that night was a blast.  Incredibly exhausted I went into it dragging my feet, but as things go, a few spins in the hoop to some funky music quickly re-energized me.  I spent the night avoiding the video camera, whose bright light was disorienting.  It was fun to switch between props; hoops, minis, flags, and poi and was even more fun to put everything down and just plain dance.  A highlight of the evening was when Revolva stepped out onto the stage to throw down some tricks, thus creating a dancer’s circle.  One brave hooper after the next made their way to the center evoking applause, laughter and admiration.

Afterward it was another late night on the porch of the Falcon Lodge.  As Revolva and I made our way inside for bed a white, and entirely bare ass disappeared into the boy’s room sending us into fits of giggles as we brushed our teeth and pondered over the ass’s owner.  Since that moment, the aptly named ‘Phantom Ass’ has been the brunt of many a joke.

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Rainbow Michael and I rose way too early rubbing the few hours sleep from our eyes and chugging maté, desperately working to get into the groove to teach one of the harder workshops of the event IMO.  8:30am rolled around, breakfast time, and not one resident of Falcon so much as rolled over.  Our workshop was scheduled to begin at 9:30.  On top of that, Mother Nature decided Monday was a perfect day for rain showers, contributing to the lethargic, and overstimulated vibe of the morning.  Slowly, people began to emerge from the shadows, rubbing circles of mascara, some still in the costume casualties of the previous nights pageantry. Going with the pudding-like flow of the morning Jewels announced at breakfast that workshops would begin a bit later than planned, buying us some much needed time.

Because of the rain, our workshop, ‘Magnificent Minis‘, was to take place in the lodge, rather than the sodden tent.  We were excited for this change as it gave the minis a container, and us a stage to more visibly demonstrate.  Despite the rows of red eyes and yawns, the workshops passed with much success and excited feedback.  I was appreciative of Michael’s humor and clear grasp on the material and our trade-off of stage time complimented each other nicely.  As the popularity of the minis or poi hoops grows, I’m excited to continue to challenge myself and others to find spaces otherwise unaccessible with the larger hoops.  At Hoop Camp this year I will be teaching another minis class, this time with more focus on personal flow.

Our workshop ran parallel to Kara Maia’s of Mandala Hoops.  It was a shame, as I would have loved to get her in depth insight to sacred geometry and hoop dance, but was also a blessing. Our workshops touched on some of the same information and thus complimented each other well, so I was told.  Next time Kara, I’ll be there!

Well folks, that’s pretty much it.  If you’ve read to the end of this blog post (ahem, novel) I applaud you.  As much as I attempted to cut things out, the event itself left me too full for that to be an option.  A HUGE thank you goes out to all of you who shared this space with me that were not mentioned here, and another HUGER thank you to Jewels, Scott and team for your never-ending and selfless hard work!

As Jocelyn closed out the circle I stood tall in a fully empowered personal space – a personal space that could not have existed without the support and love of the greater collective.  Hooping and dance for so many of us is medicine.  It is the stepping stone recognizing our own divine nature, our own connection to the infinite.  Like Jewels said in her workshop, ‘Inside the hoop I felt like I had come home to my body’.  It gives us the permission to love deeply.  Why we feel like we need that permission in the first place is the real question.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

-Marianne Williamson

Until next time brothers and sisters, be blissed and blessed in the hoop!

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I’d like to take this moment of reflection to dedicate this blog entry to the ‘Phantom Ass,’ our mascot du jour.

Could Somebody Pass Me My Magic Wand?

I’m still dealing with the whole heights thing in aerial dance.  Whoa.  You want me to do what?  With one hand?  Up this high?  You’re crazy.What if I drop to my flailing, weak-ass, ungraceful death?  Or worse, what if I drop unseemly (toes not pointed) panicked and shrieking, break and arm and live to tell about it? No thanks.

Same deal, closer to the ground.  Tumbling.  Ok, so I’m going to run…jump, head back, body flips, hips lead … back – hypothetically – does not break.

Say what?  I run like a girl?  More chins than China?  My left hand appears to be super-glued to the ground?  And I thought I had great body awareness.  How about a high 5 for learning curves.

Dance, more specifically hoop dance.  I’m sick of everything I do, aren’t you?  (please note everything is both italicized and bold) Ok, step it up Laura, let’s add in a toss. I never do tosses on stage.  Too much possibility for disaster.  Expensive lighting, computers, instruments…not to mention humans – and humans I admire, all lurking in primo firing range with big red bulls eye targets on them.   And who could forget the ever-awkward hands-free moment after your hoop (insert: pacifer, crutch) leaves you alone and vulnerable wondering what went wrong. But I’m going to try. This time, I’m going for it.

Oh what was that? You psyched yourself out and delivered vanilla?  Way-to-go.  It’s amateur hour and your the guest of honor.  Take a deep bow and wave to your unimpressed, overstimulated audience.  See you next time…or maybe not.

Here’s one.  How about completely unfounded fears for future events that haven’t even happened yet?  That’s a real good one to fixate on.  I have this big presentation next week.  Public speaking AND hooping.  Talking about the merging of my two worlds to the Boulder start-up/entrepreneurial/tech scene.  I have all these things in my favor to blow their socks off.  One, and most obvious is that I’m presenting to a largely (and by largely I mean overwhelmingly) male audience.  Cute girl thing?  No problem.  Two. I will actually be hooping while I present.  Hypnotic circle dance thing?  Check.  Three.  I’ve seen others present and know I could do better.  Overconfident Sagittarian thing?  Yup, got it.

But the what-ifs are shredding my dreams, delivering cold sweats and dry heaves for no freakin’ reason.  I’m reading this book about being creative in writing.  One chapter is called; ‘Remember You’re Not Saving Lives.’  I really have to remind myself of this like twice a day…I’m that worried.

Pansy.

Oh let’s see what else?  The usual.  Financial, relational, professional.  If you can dream it up, odds are I’m worried about it.  Add a weeks + worth of rain, cloud and snowy weather and I’m slumming through the trenches of a full-throttle anxiety attack sprinkled with soul-sucking doubts, (heavy on melancholy moods, please).

And you know, I’m even more pathetic than first glance because there are so many REAL things in this life to loose sleep over.  What I’m beginning to come to terms with is all this imagined hypothetical fear can be chalked up to the suffocatingly high standards I hold myself to.  I want to be amazing at everything – immediately. Whala! Pass me my magic wand please.

To know that you can do something and to actually do it, I’m learning, are 2 very different things.  To want to grow and learn the new, and to actually hold space to allow that to happen in a healthy way are also 2 very different things.

My mom mentioned to me that she’s learned to distinguish between joy and happiness as a way of working through life’s disappointments. I have yet to fully understand her view, but this is the sense I’ve made of it:  Joy is in the process.  Joy is falling and laughing yourself up.  Joy is knowing you’re here, showing up, trying over and over and over…joy is failing, and starting anew.

Am I happy about where I am with my tumbling, dancing, aerial-ing, writing, speaking, blah, blah blah??  No.  No I’m not.  Can I learn to focus on the joy?  Well, that there’s the rub.

Deeply

I have come to stillness and felt its depth.  Stepped to the edge, open, raw and vulnerable.

Not yet.

An awakening on the other end, I am both ancient and new. I am She with a capital S.

Breath saw the vessel I provided and said no thanks.

And yet, my heart beats.  Deeply.

There is work to be done.

Gratitude.

I am grateful for.

My family.  We celebrated my Mom’s birthday last night sans sister Brie.  It was a glorious day on Pearl Street in Boulder.  The sun, hiding all day, decided to peak it’s way around the haze and pour like gold – onto welcome recipients.  The first day of Spring and the Equinox added to the collective celebratory spirit.  A perfect day to spend with family.  I rarely forget but perhaps do not speak of it enough.

Me and My Mom

My family is my rock.  Mom, strong, quiet intelligence, compassion, soft.  My Dad driven, extroverted, full-of-laughter.  Both give unyielding support without the need for effort.  Parenthood becomes them.  My brother.  Who I have to thank for SO much.  He is my partner, my go-to person for advice, my editor, my friend.

Brie

My sister – an inspiration, a light-child, shares at least half my soul.

Photo taken by Grant Blakeman

I am grateful for my friends who show up in my life so magnificently.  Who are present and witness to so much over the years.  Good and bad.

I am grateful for Rainbow Michael and our shared experience.  All that we’ve taught each other – all the beauty that’s come out of our relationship, manifested in the individual.  I am grateful that he is still in my life, by choice, even though Spirit has shown us other paths – even though the unwinding is not easy.  His honesty and his insistance to talk it out helps me to slow down and remember why.

I am grateful for my work.  That I can be excited about the dawning of a new day, a new season, with opportunity. So much gratitude! I love my job.  I love to write.  I love to help.  I love to dance.  I don’t forget that what I have is rare…that not everybody gets to love what they do so completely – so effortlessly.

I am grateful for my community.  For the Omies at Om Time, hoopers, friends, musicians, artists… For my place in the larger community.  This web we weave is intricate!

I am grateful for my body.  That I have all my capacities.  That I can run, jump, spin and hang off fabric from the ceiling!  That I can push my limits and feel it in the morning.  I cherish it, because it’s not forever.

I am so grateful for my teachers.  The elders in my life who provide deep insight on this path.  My peers who do the same in a different way.  My family who know me on the inside and speak to that part of me.  For the strangers who come in and out with little to no thought, but who’s imprint is forever left in the sands of my soul.  We are all teachers if we choose to be, and sometimes in spite of ourselves.

Mt. Evans Rainbow

I am grateful for Mother Earth.  For Boulder where the sun shines more often than not.  For the mountains and the streams, the hawks and the fields.  For the coyotes that howl at night at the Moon, for the sea and the sky and the flowers that salute it.

I am grateful enough to remember where our place is in the world.  That diversity is the real celebration and that change is the only constant…

I’ll say it here, that I’m blessed on this second day of Spring. What are you grateful for?

White Flags

“World peace will begin when we end the wars within each of us.”

-Buddhist Buzz via Twitter

Just sayin.

Girl Hooping in Thailand

Shakti Sunfire: Inside The Hoop

Interview re-posted from Hooping.org

Laura “Shakti Sunfire” Blakeman is a 26-year-old who is in and out of Boulder, Colorado, between her gypsy wanderings. A writer, as well as a brand consultant in the advertising industry, Shakti also teaches hoop dance at various studios, makes and sells firehoops, feathers and other such fairy imaginings, teaches Circus Arts to children at an after school program, and travels around the world with her hoops. “It’s all under the guise of ‘performance’,” she says, adding, “How I get away with that I still don’t know.” We think we know how – she’s an amazing hooper, which makes her one part of the reason The Kaivalya Hoopdancers won a Hoopie Award for Performance Group of the Year. She was also nominated solo in the video category for this one. Find out more about just how she gets away with it and more about the life of this amazing hoopstress in our interview with Shakti Sunfire, our Hooper of the Week!

So how did it all start for Shakti? She explains, “I was at a Hot Buttered Rum retreat in Yosemite National Park in May of 2006. We had gotten up early that morning and explored the park – my first Yosemite experience. I remember it was one of the glorious days where the sky was clear and the spring sun shone down through the trees casting dappled light onto the flowers and ferns of the forest floor. My partner at the time was well versed in all things ‘jam-band’ hippie – he had a hoop and was known among certain circles to throw down with it. For whatever reason it was that day I succumbed to his prompting. Maybe it was a combination of the euphoria of the weekend, or maybe it was the magic that takes place for me in our great National Parks, but that day I spent the better part of the afternoon learning a lift from the waist. It was all over!” She left Yosemite and beelined it for the only other friend she had at the time who was into hooping, Stephinity, and they started Kaivalya in the Fall that year hooping on a double-wide sidewalk outside their favorite beatnik coffee shop in downtown Denver.

How often does she hoop? She told Hooping.org, “I’d say on average about 3 times a week. The only regular during the Winter is on Wednesday nights for about 3 hours. Me and Rainbow Michael of Cosmic Fire host the Boulder Circus Jam at the Circus Center. I’m grateful for that space. Before that Kaivalya held regular practices at that time and they’ve merged since then. I hoop in my house too, during my classes, and at whatever gigs come up on the weekends. Other Circus arts eat the rest of my time.”

So how has hooping changed Shakti’s life? “Well, it’d be hard to imagine my life without it at this point. Growing up my mom used to say ‘I can’t tell if you’re going to end up a professional in business or a renegade artist.’ Running the hooping business allows me to do both. More than anything hooping has personally empowered me to live to my fullest expression. A friend of mine who saw me hoop for String Cheese in the Summer of 2007 just saw me again at New Years with Hot Buttered Rum. He approached me just to say how much more embodied I am now – full of confidence. It was an interesting insight into the ways in which we all grow. More than that though, hooping has opened my world to the incredible community of prop manipulators – yeah, that means you! Many of whom I now call my best friends. That’s a beautiful thing!”

We asked Shakti about a challenge or personal obstacle she’s been working on. Her response? “If you really want to hear about them you can read my blog and you’ll get more than you ever wanted to know there HAHA! But seriously, a pervading theme in my life right now is finding courage. I guess it all ties back into personal empowerment. I recognize a need for courage in all my interactions – courage to be honest, courage to truly move with Love, courage to trust, courage to set and break boundaries, courage to let go, courage to ride my evolutionary edge – whatever that looks like.”

Does she have a favorite hooping memory or two to share? She said, “Uh oh, this question. 3 words. String. Cheese. Incident. Oh oh wait, 2 more. Red. Rocks. Some context – I had been following SCI for years! Every dime I had went to some tour in some part of the world. Yes, I followed them to and around Europe too from 2000 on through their last show in the Summer of 2007. As you can imagine my entire social circle were Cheese family. I had more or less grown up with them, at least through the turbulent years of college and beyond. I had countless memories and when I was asked to dance with them at their last show I approached it as a tribute. For the first time I was actually in a position to physically dance my gratitude, to look out over the sea of faces, all 10,000 of them in my home town, and dance for them, for the band I had come to know! It literally brought me to tears. That was not a performance in any right – in my first year of hooping, it was Ceremony. My sister Brie (Breeze), Stephinity and Lady Hoop of Kaivalya were positioned on risers in the crowd – and Spiral, whom I met through that event was stage left. Together we created the mandala – the tetrehedron. I, of course, have written about that night.

So does she have a favorite hoop? Shakti answers, “Is it sacreligious to say I don’t have one? Hoops come and hoops go. I will tell you that my favorite kind of hoops to use are 3/4 HDPE (white) tubing – 33.5″ diameter. I switched to that this winter and swear it’s changed the way I hoop.”

So what music are you most likely to find her hooping to? It’s not a surprise her answer was live music. She explained, “There’s nothing like live music. I’m all over the map. My roots are in jam bands, Americana, Bluegrass, but recently have fallen for Dub Step. Future Simple Project, as well as Mimosa, Eskmo, Edit, Ott, Vibesquad, Tipper, – lots of Kirtan believe it or not, Bjork, Zap Mama, EOTO’s been throwing down, some old-school hip hop. too.”

What quality does Shakti most admire in a hooper? She reveals, “I love how accepting and open the hoop community is – there’s just something about the circle that brings us all in isn’t there? On an individual level I really admire those who take information and make it theirs – who step up to the plate and push the boundaries of the art form – you know who you are! Deliver it hoopers! Throw the F*%& down!”

So what does she see as being her most marked hooping characteristic? She says, “Yikes! I dunno. The word graceful is thrown at me quite a bit. Does that answer the question?”

What else does she want to tell Hooping.org’s readers? Shakti says, “I hope to see you all at the Hoop Convergence and Hoop Camp this year. I’ll be teaching at both. Let’s make some magic! Other than that, I’ll be at large this summer doin’ the festival thing. You can find me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and find me on YouTube.

In closing, if Shakti had one piece of advice to share with someone picking up a hoop for the very first time, what would that be? She said, “Hoop for no one but yourself, and for no other reason than that it brings you joy. If you move from heart space, you will be rewarded for it!”

Love.

Our society is absolutely infatuated with romantic love in all its forms.  I can’t say I’m exempt but I can say I’m tired of it.  I’m going through a breakup right now – although I choose not to call it that.  It’s more an unwinding of union, a peeling back of 2 to find 1 again.  A mutual and supported unfolding for self-empowerment.  We’ve now spent weeks of healing and ceremony together – absorbing the full spectrum of emotion – passion, anger, anxiety, sadness, frustration, pure joy, and nostalgia for what was and what is.  You could not call love any one, but all of the spectrum – Love moves.  That’s the most I can get out of it.

Outside of relationships, it is no different.  I think we often forget that honest love doesn’t always wear a pretty face.  The path is not always paved and ‘raising consciousness’  takes more forms than external fluff.

You ever seen, or maybe experienced first hard, the power of love that makes a Mom lash out at a threat to her children?  Or the bird that dive bombs a massive hawk to protect her young?  Yeah. That’s love too.  What about Kali Ma?  The divine feminine in Hindu philosophy expressed in the form of a vehement destroyer, slaying the heads off our egos?  Love. Is. That. Too.

I’ve been part of an unwillingness to see love’s dark sides, her less-than-accommodating sides. Here are some ways love is showing up in my life and here too, is my declaration to rejoice just the same in the lessons I’ve learned from her.

Love is setting boundaries and communicating those boundaries.  A boundary is not about about delineation, pulling rank, or setting yourself aside all others, it’s about inner truth.  We work with what we got, or we’ve got an ideal.  To be as open and receptive and ‘loving’ to the world as possible, may not always be accessible.  Sometimes, (and I’d argue most times) other layers need to melt, other curtains pulled, other experiences processed before real heart space is created for so lofty a goal.  That’s called learning to love in your unique capacity.  But it’s not pretty right?  It doesn’t make someone say ‘awwww’.

So then love is about loving yourself first.  Because, and I’ve said it here before, how can we all serve with our unique gifts if we offer a diluted version of ourselves?  How is that love in any manifestation?

It’s hard right? Love is the path of a warrior.  It takes the strong of heart to truly love our fellow man.  We don’t give up.  If ‘loving everyone’ is your goal – beautiful!  Just make sure you understand where on that path you are.  Don’t get so wrapped up in loving others that you forget about yourself. What needs to be dealt with now, on a personal level?

Love is letting go of what doesn’t serve.  And it is brave enough to hold on. What is ‘good’ and ‘bad’ for each of us may be totally, unfathomably different person to person.  The question is not always ‘what do you need to let go of’, but also, ‘what can you hold onto with all your strength of heart?‘ That’s personal empowerment.

No one can tell you how to love. Truly. So don’t let society tell you what love is.  Don’t learn it from books or stories or (god forbid) the media.  Don’t appropriate it yourself – there is danger in that too.  You don’t find love.  Love finds you – in your life, your own way. A timeless experience so deep within you – a celebration of all her many faces and facets that nudge and sometimes shove you out of your comfort zone. For that I am grateful! Where’s the depth if love doesn’t shake things up?

Many people say to move from a place of love.  I’d argue to move from heart space – where LOVE; Shapeshifter, Cosmic Teacher, is still given room,  to spread her wings.